this week, we had a speaker from south africa, her name was ruth. she spoke on brokenness, which was an interesting topic to be discussed in the context of african culture. she began the lectures by explaining what wholeness is, and that God desires the best for our lives. she explained that salvation isnt just something in regards to eternity, but it is God making us whole here and now. that really opened my eyes a lot, i never really understood before that God not only wants good things for me, but the best, and not only in my spiritual life, but in all of it. this was news to me.
she also spoke on forgiveness, which i realized i still needed to take care of regarding some people in my past. ive learned that forgiveness is a choice, and the feelings follow later (like most things). so i decided to make that choice.
on saturday, me & a few other girls went to a nearby girls boarding school called st. stephens. this school has been through a lot what with two robberies in the last few months. me & patra really shared our hearts with these girls, talking about our past experiences being healed by God's Love, which is real. i left there with a heaviness, like just one testimony & small group isnt going to leave a long-lasting impact on these girls lives. i wanted to do a follow up, to build real relationships and actually be a part of their life.
thats when i got this idea: a team of women who go to a school or church group, then do different sessions with the girls and cover topics like: how to respond to thieves, self defense, safety tips, sexual abuse counseling, trauma response, etc. covering the preparatory & post-trauma sides of it. here, the culture doesnt allow for girls to discuss anything regarding sex with their parents or anybody. nobody speaks up, and this means that there is a lot of shame and secrets circling around anything like this. it makes ministry in this area really difficult.
also, these three places have been on my heart a lot: gulu, uganda. the red light district in amsterdam, and kolkata, india. ive had ideas and visions circulating in my mind about backpacking to these places, or going straight there after the DTS. but i havent gotten a confirmation about any of them yet, nor do i have any idea how the finances would work out. but im choosing not to stress about it because my Papa made the stars, so im pretty sure He can handle the next few years of my life. these are places with hurting and broken people, places that i have been fascinated with for years, so i want to go there and see if God has anything long term for me there.
i love traveling, i love adventure. i love things that are new. but i also love building long term relationships and discipling people. i love the freedom to stay or go. i love not being stuck somewhere. who knows how all this will play out or when.
there are some differences i have noticed about the west and here. i remember when i was younger i would ask why God doesnt do miracles anymore, why He doesnt heal people or turn water into wine. at that point, id never been to africa. in the west, if you get sick, you go to a doctor and get medicine. if youre hungry, you go to heb or mcdonalds. if youre sad or hurting, you go to counselling. if youre mentally disturbed, you go to a psychiatrist. we are so self-dependent that it doesnt really leave room for a desperation for God to move. we dont really need God to do anything, so, since we dont ask, He doesnt (in my experience). here, that is not the case at all. you get sick, you pray. youre hungry, you pray. youre sad, you pray. youre mentally disturbed, someone prays for you. people here are familiar with miracles and healing. they are familiar with His willingness to act, not just His ability. in the west, we are so hesitant to rely on His willingness, on His goodness. here, if He isnt willing and if He isnt concerned, there are no other options. this desperation is a beautiful thing.
another thing is that everyone says that westerners are time/task-oriented and that africans are relationship-oriented. at first, i thought there wasnt a lot of truth in this, because i find that relating deeply to africans is actually quite difficult, but i see now what they mean. if someone stops you on the street and talks to you for 5 minutes, you are now officially friends. friendship here is a very wide thing, not a very deep thing. as opposed to the west, where a friend is someone youve shared your heart with and known for years. so, in that aspect, yes, africans are very-relationship oriented. its just that relationships look different here.
another thing that keeps coming up is my age. everytime someone asks and i tell them, without fail, they are surprised that i am so young. honestly, i dont feel my age. i feel like i have left my youth behind; that mindset of "i still have the rest of my life to do meaningful things, i may as well screw around for a few more years". i feel as though my future, my "ministry", if you like, is about to begin. i feel like i am moving forward, i have a sense of urgency about life, knowing that my days are numbered. like theres too much to do and not enough time, and ive only been here for 17 years. either way, its just weird.
oh and one more thing, me & elinor (one of the staff here) have been trying to come up with ways to continue the prostitution ministry in makutano that her & lora started. there is not much direction or resources yet, but we are just tossing around ideas and prayers about that.
this weekend, i talked to jacob, taylor, faith and some family. i have a deep love for the people back home. i want to be sharing life with them, but i know this is where God has called me, so i still know id rather be here than there.
im not taking enough pictures, sorry.
No comments:
Post a Comment