week one

going to try to make this short and sweet, but that will be hard. bear with me.

so, the plane ride here. talked to a woman from india who was born hindu but encountered Christ and now follows Him. she was on her way to a Christian womens conference in New Delhi, i think. her story was encouraging and challenging. on the second ride, met a woman from alabama going to eldorat, which is a village in kenya. she was doing missions also. i had sinus problems, and i thought my eardrums were going to explode. but, the didnt. hallelujah. on the way, God wrote me this letter from isaiah 41-44:

"I took you from the ends of the earth, from its corners I called you. I said, "you are my servant, abby". I have chosen you, not rejected you. so don't fear, I am with you, dont be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen & help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. "I myself help you" says the Lord, the Holy One, the Redeemer. I will lead the blind by ways you dont know, along unfamiliar paths I will guide you. I will turn darkness into light before you and make the rough places smooth. these are things Ill do, I wont forsake them. I have summoned you by name, abby, you. are. Mine. since you are precious & honored in My sight, and because I love you, I will exchange nations for you. bring my daughters from the ends of the earth- everyone who is called by name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed & made. you are my witness and my servant whom I've chosen. I have revealed, saved, proclaimed. no one can deliver you out of My hand, abby. when I act, who can reverse it? forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. see? I am doing a new thing! now it springs up, do you see it? I am making a way in the wilderness, and streams in the wasteland, to give my people, my chosen, the people I formed for Myself that they may proclaim My praise. I will pour out My Spirit on you, you will say: "I belong to the Lord!" and youll write on your hands: "The Lord's". 

Love, Papa "

talk about an affirmation of my call. God Himself wrote me a dang letter. sweet.

i got here, not knowing what to expect. the toilets are outhouses. the showers are a bucket and some water. there is no AC or heater. the kitchen is relatively small. there are dorms, and houses with families. the athi river base is basically a compound that serves many different purposes, DTS is just one of them. there is 70 acres, mostly bushbush. meaning, wildnerness. basically, dry grass and acacia trees and thornbushes and bugs. im told that in the morning there are giraffes and zebras, but im not buying it. 

saturday & sunday i spent just getting used to the base and getting to know the staff & the other students. there are 21 students here. most of them kenyan, a nigerian, a guy from cameroon, another american (indiana), a jamaican (living in sweden). on staff there is kenyans, dutch people, swiss people, and a rwandan. by now, we all know eachother by name. and everytime someone passes, there is always a sincere "how are you?" or "habari yako?" all of the staff here has dedicated literally their whole lives to the Great Commission and to discipling us. thats challenging. 

the usual days look like this: wake at 630. bfast at 7 (bread & tea). quiet time in the bushbush after bfast. worship or prayer or small group at 830. lecture at 10. tea break. more lecture. rest. lunch (rice & vegetables). rest. work duty (cleaning, cooking, chopping wood) from 2:30-4:30. showers/laundry. dinner at 6 (rice/ugali and vegetables/beans & fruit!) then, at 8 we usually have some sort of a meeting or worship or discussion. bed by 1030 usually. the mornings & nights are perfect, while the middle of the day is joto sana (real hot).

i took rosetta stone swahili last year, so i know basically a third of what they are saying, but speaking it is a different story. the africans are helping me with it though. they are quite patient, really. when they are speaking to each other, they speak swahili. but if there are mzungus around, they usually stick to english. 

but, that doesnt mean we communicate very well. i must initiate most conversations, which is uncomfortable. and even then, 99% of my interactions with people in the past week have been surface level. thats been hard. i didnt know that the community i was in played such a huge role in my walk with Christ. its getting harder & harder to really invest in people and care about people as they days go by. 

i have school work to do. reading the book of titus this week & taking notes. also, reading "is that really you God?" by loren cunningham (founder of YWAM) and a book report due in a month. in my quiet times, ive been reading isaiah and 2 peter though. 

things are very, very different here. in some ways, i cant even put my finger on it. yes, its different to have to wash dishes and clothes by hand and pee in a hole in the ground and swat flies off of my head all day long, but that doesnt effect me very much. whats really been challenging for me is the way that they relate to God is different. the worship is full of shouting, dancing, jumping, etc. very charistmatic. the 2 big denominations here are pentecostal and catholic. i think that this kind of worship is pentecostal. they do sing some songs in english, like 'this is the air i breathe' and 'open the eyes of my heart'. chris tomlin hasnt made it big time over here yet. at the end of each song, they all pray loudly korean style. i have gotten more used to it, and ive met the Spirit a couple of times during worship. 

the way they talk about God and pray to God is very expectant, like not only is He able, but He is also willing. within context. He is willing to do things for the sake of Christ.

now, as far as my time with God. its been a challenge. this kind of faith they have, the kind of undignified worship they have has really challenged me. the fact that He has called me here and i have been kinda miserable is really messing with my head. but i choose to believe He is good. im struggling to really have faith in that "exceedingly abundantly" part, though. sometimes He calls us to miserable things, but these things are supposed to be fulfilling, sindiyo? because we are fulfilling His purpose and His call. honestly, i dont feel fulfilled. but the Holy Spirit has been teaching me to be patient with myself and with Gods work in me and around me. "a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like a day to the Lord." yeah. 

He showed me yesterday that if He is big enough to breathe out suns, if His hand is the size of the universe, then surely He can be trusted with my life.

sometimes i fall into thinking.."crap..what if God wants me here forever?" that overwhelms me, and i know i should take it one day at a time. but when i do get ahead of myself, the conclusion i come to is that it would be worth it. He has been teaching me to number my days, that a lifetime of suffering is nothing compared to eternal rejoicing. its definitely worth it, if God wants me to. i am just working off the faith that it will be a fulfilling work. 

i dont know how to explain it really. but to sum it up, i think i am walking by faith, definitely not by sight. but that doesnt mean that i didnt wish i saw some results every now and then. but i am trying to be patient with that also. 

i think i covered everything. sorry if i didnt. only 11 more weeks! then 8 more weeks! then maybe home...then maybe back for the rest of my life...sawa.

penda. 

my email is abby51259@yahoo.com

ps, hopefully you can derive my prayer requests from this information..but if not:

-unity. that the blood of Christ would overpower the different cultures and languages and truly unite us. that we would be able to get out of our boxes and love eachother deeply, considering one anothers needs more important than our own. 

-knowing God. for who He really is, not who i think He is. that my mind and heart would be expanded to let more and more of Him in. that i would be able to hear Him speaking in my quiet times and lectures, however simple they may be.

-equipped. that i would cling to the promise that the Holy Spirit would equip me for each day. i literally do not want to waste another day here. i want all of His eternal purposes to be fulfilled in my life. 

please tell me how to pray for you. 

my bed: 

 my stuff: