ive lost count of the weeks..

...and i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing.

ill get straight to the point though.
God and i have been wrestling a lot lately.
i am learning to hear from Him clearly. im learning to discern His voice & drown out all the other ones. im learning what it means to be still and know.
i am learning that He wants me to rest. to accept myself. to love myself. to accept His love. to know Him as my Father. to be led by Him.

something cool thats happened: after days of praying, He told me a few things.
yes, i am in fact called to the poor. to the least of these. to the forgotten and left behind.
yes, i am called to the nations. to a relatively nomadic lifestyle. i am called to the back roads and the sidewalks and the slums and the villages.
yes, there will be suffering. extreme suffering. but He has given me a special grace for a special calling. and i need to learn the art of fasting and prayer.
yes, He has given me the gift of creativity and the ability to make art for a reason. He intends to grow & cultivate this gift in me and use it for His own purposes. this could look like this.

other than that, the classes have been good. one week about the cost of discipleship, the other about biblical relationships.

ive been thinking & praying about what to do after DTS.
i know for sure ill be going to uganda until july 20. i will visit the ywam hopeland base & the phillips in cherish. then from there, im contemplating going to europe for a few weeks to a month. tossing around the idea of backpacking through holland, belgium, france, switzerland, and italy. ywam bases, hostels, couch surfing. peanut butter jelly sandwiches & instant coffee. friends and strangers. people i know and people i dont. bibles and journals. cities and mountain ranges. i dont know yet. im talking it through with Him. we'll see how it goes, or if it goes.

so, thats basically whats been going on lately.
oh, ive been staying the weekends with a lovely family. theyve really blessed me. theyve put a lot of goodness and rest into my life since ive been here. a home away from home. family is a gift from God, and i appreciate it greatly. especially in such unfamiliar territory.

all in all, ive been wandering lately in one way or another. but thats nothing new.
we leave for outreach next weekend. we are going to maasai land. google it. its the bush. yes.